Remember, Forget, and Things Changed

Today, i heard "Sayap Pelingmu" by The Overtunes on my tv. It reminded me of you. Of us. When it's weeks away till i was about to left this town, you sent me a song and it was that song. I cried easily when i heard that song. Remember it? I doubt that you remember it. Or maybe you remember "One" by Ed Sheeran that you ever suggested to me? Little did you know, i remember every single little thing that happened between us. Oh maybe not "every" it's too dramatic haha but believe me i might be remember things that you forget. It hurts, tbh. Facing the fact you forget it while i still remember it. Like this one. I remember when you said that Moments by One Direction reminds you of Satya. I always remember it but i know you DO forget it. It's not your fault actually it's just we're humans we forget some things and we remember some things. It'll be so nice if i know you remember some of our memories tho. In a year since junior high school ended, in a year when i do not in the same city as you, in a year that including 12 months everything has changed. And yeah, you changed too. I feel like i lost you. I almost didn't recognise you. Maybe i do not regocnise you until now. You know, i only have this 50 days plus mabye 8 days in a year that i can spend with you and what happened to the rest of it? You do know that it's impossible to meet me in the rest of those days. I expected more and more days of my holidays to be spend with you but what was happening is exactly the opposite of what i expected. We only met twice in 50 days. Once you invited me to sleepover in your home that i expected it was gonna be so fun. But i was wrong again. We were busy with our own gadget. It's your fault tbh, bcs if you didn't start it first i'd never be on my internet world. I was so lonely on that moment. I couldn't even talk with you because you seemed so busy. It's fun when we could laugh together again after a really long moment but actually i didn't think that you were really laughing because i knew you were sad that moment. I couldn't bring back the old us. I never can. It feels like the only person that changed between us is you. I do still the same, but idk tho. We barely have a chat again, we barely say those cursing words again to each other. Little did you know, your contact name in my phone hasn't changed, it's still "my bitch" i don't know if my contact name on your phone has changed or not. We're as close as strangers. You can't mad at me just because of this. Because this is exactly what i feel. I'm just so sad that we never can be like the old us. This distance and our own life are keeping me away from you. I know that nothing lasts forever and nothing stays the same except God. But i'm just not ready for that "change" things. You can say that i'm afraid of it. Everything feels so different. Well, the only thing that i can do is face it. And live in it. I do this because i love you and i don't wanna lose you. I NEVER want to lose you.