This is my tragic life. lol.

Do you think being in that boarding school is fun? Huh. If yes, you're 10000% wrong. I told you, being in that boarding school is like you're struggling to stay alive in the hunger games. Lmao. I'm not kidding. Maybe it's not that bad if you enjoy it but my problem is i CAN'T enjoy it. I'll never enjoy it. You'll get mental, heart, brain temptations. Actually it'll make you stronger but to be stronger than before, you really need to pass those trials firstly and it is the worst part. I'm not ready to return to that boarding school again. I really need to prepare my soul my mental my brain and my heart firstly, and i'm afraid if i can't do it. It's like a nightmare if i think about it. But i can't take a move back. I'll never take a step back. Why? Bcs my parents won't let me do it. And beside it, i know that it can make my future. Actually it depends on you, but yeah. I'm trying to survive in there. I'm trying to stay alive even i'm empty. I'm trying to make it fun even all of the daily is monoton. I'm trying to make myself happy even all i feel is i miss home. You know what? That boarding school is like a little country in a big country. But we can't out from it. It's like that little country has a big transparant dome as its roof. Ugh i don't know. The other worst thing again is i will missed 5sos' concert in indonesia bcs i'm in that boarding school. They WON'T allow me to take maybe only 3 days off to see them. And i've already missed The Boys' concert when they were here for the first time. You wanna know where i was? Well, i was in that boarding school too. Can you imagine how sad i was? No? Well, i was crying for days and days. Bcs i couldn't let it happened to myself but i could do nothing. Nothing except cry. I have waited them for so damn long to come here but when they did, i couldn't see them bcs i'm in that boarding school. Sometimes i just give up living in that boarding school. No, i'm not stopping for living, but i don't do my job or my daily as best as i could. Do you know what i want? I wanna be done as an alumnus. That make a special history in that boarding school. Like maybe when in the class 6 i be a MAC or  an instruction section or maybe a language section or anything else. Or when in this final intensive, i can go to aussie with a scholarship, aamiin. This what makes me stay alive in that boarding school lol.